Quotes that make you pause or laugh

“I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.” Mae West

"It is good to have an open mind but you don’t need to let your brains fall out." A historian on a History Channel show on UFO’s.

Man:"Can I buy you a drink?"
Woman:"I'd rather have the cash."

"Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of." Sarah Orne Jewett

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science." Albert Einstein

"And people used to ask June [Carter] how -- how she was doin'. And she used to say, "I'm just tryin' to matter." And, I know what she means, you know. I'm just trying to matter and live a good life…" Part of Reese Witherspoon’s Academy Award acceptance speech


"It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars." Garrison Keillor

"In my day, we didn't have self-esteem; we had self-respect, and no more of it than what we had earned." Jane Haddam

Advice to children crossing the street: Damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody." Jackie "Moms" Mabley

There ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one

“Today is a gift-have fun.” Dustin age 11

Just because kittens are born in the oven doesn't make them biscuits.

“Putting lipstick on a pig is a waste of time and annoys the pig.”

"I never made it in Who’s Who but I was featured in What’s That?”

"Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn now and then."

"She went off like a Korean woman on crack!"

“Big girls don’t stand still.” Coach CJ

Harper Lee Quotes:
I'm no idealist to believe firmly in the integrity of our courts and in the jury system -- that is no ideal to me, it is a living, working reality. Gentlemen, a court is no better than each man of you sitting before me on this jury. A court is only as sound as its jury, and a jury is only as sound as the men who make it up.

Folks don't like to have somebody around knowing more than they do. It aggravates em. You're not gonna change any of them by talking right, they've got to want to learn themselves, and when they don't want to learn there's nothing you can do but keep your mouth shut or talk their language.

Real courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.

Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.